Saturday, May 9, 2020

Does Rice Paper Bacon Work?

You know those people who can describe food so pithily that their prose elegantly encapsulates the essence of the dish?

I can do that with rice paper bacon. Because as it turns out, you only need one word to describe the nuance of the recipe:

Thursday, April 30, 2020

My DIY Recipe Binder

Everybody has their own way of storing recipes. Once upon a time, people used recipe boxes. Then people had fill-in-the-blank recipe books. Then I think everybody either switched to some kind of app or stopped cooking altogether. None of those options were going to work for me, so I decided I needed to create my own recipe storage solution.

My Criteria

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a wee bit opinionated about things. (See: Brand Wars.) Given that I may have a stick up my butt from time to time, when I decided to invent my own, unique, absolutely perfect recipe book, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted and how it would work. These were my criteria:

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

I Made Banana Muffins Against My Will

I don't like bananas.

I realize that this confession is coming right on the heels of my "I won't eat apples" admission, so I'm sure you think I'm on some kind of anti-fruit crusade, but I promise, it's not like that.

I just don't like bananas. They're too squishy and stringy and....peely. I don't dig it.

But my pandemic brain decided that it wanted to make banana nut muffins, and I had a bag of nuts (a nut sack, lol), so I ordered bananas from the grocery people.

Sunday, April 26, 2020

Brand Wars: Coke vs. Pepsi

It's the question that has plagued humanity since the 1800s. Today, at long last, we will have our answer.

Saturday, April 25, 2020

Baked Apple Cinnamon Rolls

Everyone loves cinnamon rolls; it's a universal truth.

Cinnamon rolls are an excellent social distancing food because they're familiar and comforting, they take a long time to make (so they're boredom-busting), and they don't require any weird-ass ingredients that you'd have to leave your house to get. Understandably, I decided my pandemic experience would be incomplete without indulging in cinnamon rolls at least once. (It would be more than once, but now I'm out of butter.)

When I waddled upstairs to start baking this morning, I remembered I had some really really sad looking apples that I bought the first day of the shutdown because I thought it would be responsible to buy fruit to ward off scurvy. Turns out though, I don't eat apples. Even when I put them in a fruit bowl all pretty-like.

So I decided, right then and there, to invent Baked Apple Cinnamon Rolls to use those suckers up.

Friday, April 17, 2020

I Broke My Waffles

My inner fat kid is on the fritz.

You know how I know?

Because I made waffles.

These waffles.

Delicious waffles.

But like a complete, total, skinny dumbass...

Sunday, April 12, 2020

The Best Vegan Oatmeal Raisin Cookies in the Universe

If you've been here for a hot second, you probably know that I love cookies. And cookie dough. And Oreos. But guys. All of that pales in comparison to my love for oatmeal raisin cookies.

I love oatmeal raisin cookies.

No, like really. I LOOOOOVE oatmeal raisin cookies. It's even in my bio.

One of my great moments of shame as a child was when my mother baked oatmeal raisin cookies for a meeting she had and I kept sneaking into the kitchen and stealing one and then another one and then another one and then I filled my teeny art kit suitcase with cookies and hid behind a chair and ate them all.

But you know what? I don't even think I regret it. Because oatmeal raisin cookies are the best.