Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Lay's Chocolate Covered Potato Chips Review

For Christmas, Lay's released a limited edition collection of gourmet-styled chocolate covered potato chips. They come in a super-fancy impenetrable plasticy/foily bag with the words "delicious" and "luscious" written in expensive-looking letters.

Ripped Open Bag of Lay's Chocolate Covered Potato Chips

I got a little too excited about these, but come on, they are chocolate covered potato chips. How awesome are chocolate covered potato chips? Very awesome. These are the things fat pimply girls' dreams are made of.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Little Caesar's Pretzel Crust Pizza Review

When I was a kid, we had a Little Caesars pizza joint in my hometown. They closed up shop sometime during the nineties and I didn't think about them again until a couple of years ago when another one sprung up on the other side of town. That in no way gave me incentive to eat there, as my town also has access to Dominos, Papa Johns, Pizza Hut, and DiGiornos, all of which are preferable to whatever microwaved food-like substance Little Caesars is churning out these days.

Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready Pizza Boxes

That was until I heard about the pretzel crust pizza.

This sucker has a salted pretzel crust, cheese sauce, cheese, and then more cheese.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

All the Things I Ate During Finals Week (or, Why My Jeans Won't Button)

So, my English professor thought it would be funny to assign our class a research paper two weeks before classes ended.

My English professor has a terrible sense of humor.

Lucky me, the same day my English professor assigned us our research papers, my car died. Then the school library closed for five days for "Thanksgiving," which, from what I gather, is an antiquated holiday celebrating love, gratitude, and yams. (Conincidentally, this holiday coincides with what we in the life-leeching retail business refer to as Hell Week, during which I had the pleasure of working six days straight and getting yelled at for not having enough earbuds.) By the time I had time to research anything at all, my roommate came home from Colorado barfing like a high schooler at a frat party, and I had to procure the necessary chicken noodle soup and orange juice. (The bastard lost five pounds, too. Me? I gained seven.)

As I'm sure you can assume, all this stress led to quite a bit of comfort eating. Here's a rundown of what I ate during the last two weeks:

Half a bag of Oreos.
A McDonald's apple pie.
Three white hot chocolates.
One possibly poisonous bottle of Diet Coke.
Half a pumpkin pie.
Four boxes of macaroni and cheese.
A $1 Jimmy Johns sub.
A "Party Size" tub of humus.
Two mini bags of Cool Ranch Doritos.
Twenty-three oatmeal raisin cookies.
A LOT of Twizzlers.
And a partridge in a pear tree.

The best part of all is that I totally bombed the paper, which means I am now simultaneously looking for all possible opportunities to shove Oreos into my face AND ways to lose twenty pounds before Christmas so that at least I won't be the fat freshman failure for the annual "my, how you've grown, how is school?" holiday inquisition. If anyone happens to know of a diet that lets you eat Nutella and spray cheese for two weeks, take a 48-hour nap, and wake up with the body of a bombshell, please let me know.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Caramel Apple Oreos Review

The evil leprechauns are at it again! But this time, they've been joined by mischievous miniature teddy bears to bring us this appetizing swirl of brown and green Oreo creme. See for yourself:

Brown caramel and green apple Oreo creme

Luckily, the mischievous teddy bears kept the evil leprechauns in line, because these Oreos are much, much better than the last batch of green Oreos we tried.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Fall Bucket List

Hey guys! Today I'm linking up with Jackie from Our Nashville Life to share my fall bucket list!

Fall is my favorite time of year (if you hadn't noticed from my recent fall foods craziness), and since it always seems to disappear five minutes after it starts, I thought making a fall bucket list was an awesome idea. If you make a fall bucket list, leave me a comment and I'll come check it out!


My Fall Bucket List:
  1. Bake apple crisp.
  2. Jump in a pile of leaves.
  3. Get all dressed up and take my brother trick-or-treating.
  5. Make pumpkin spice muffins.
  6. Carve a jackolantern.
  7. Set up an awesome graveyard out front.
  8. Make soup NOT from a can.
  9. Bake bread.
  10. Bake something with ginger that will make the house smell amaaaazing.
  11. Watch Rocky Horror Picture Show.
  12. Watch Nightmare Before Christmas. (My friends and I have decided the only appropriate time to watch this film is on Thanksgiving.)
  13. Go to the Minecraft Corn Maze. I hate corn mazes, but there's one nearby that does a theme every year; last year it was Angry Birds and this year it's Minecraft. Since my roommate and my little brother are both obsessed with Minecraft, we can't pass this up.
  14. Go to the eye doctor. Nope, not exciting, but I've been putting it off and it needs to happen.

That's it for today, guys. Keep your eyes peeled for autumnal Oreos later this week!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Caramel Apple Sugar Babies: The Most Confusing Candy on Earth

Caramel Apple Sugar Babies have a lot going on. At first glance, the box appears to be advertizing radioactive mouse turds. Or possibly poorly-illustrated olives.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Apple Cider Doughnuts (no, I'm not sharing)

Guys, these are apple cider doughnuts.

They are amazing. They make the world spin. They might even be better than pumpkin faces.

No, I'm just kidding, nothing is better than pumpkin faces.

But these are pretty close.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Brach's Crazy Candy Corn Review

Remember last year when we decided that things that taste like candy corn are very bad? This is totally different. This is candy corn that tastes like things. Completely new concept.

This year Brach's has unveiled four different kinds of crazy candy corn: Pumpkin Spice (of course), Caramel, S'mores, and Caramel Macchiato. All of these flavors proclaim they are "made with real honey," which seems a little weird to me since I don't know many people who make a habit of squirting honey into their pumpkin spice lattes. But hey, what do I know?

A lot. I know a lot.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Ben & Jerry's Pumpkin Cheesecake Ice Cream

I do not EVER want to be the guy who bashes Ben & Jerry's. I'm pretty sure that guy gets wiped out by the Golden Lightning Bolt of Doom, and I do not have a death wish. That being said, when I saw pumpkin cheesecake ice cream at the grocery store, my first thought was "ewwww." My second thought was, "I've gotta try that!"

Pint of Ben & Jerry's Limited Edition Pumpkin Cheesecake Flavored Ice Cream

I took the pint home, but I stared at it warily. Ben and Jerry are masterminds, sure, but pumpkin cheesecake ice cream? Really? It's ground-up gourd mixed into some sour cream and popped into the freezer. That can't possibly be good, especially when it's competing against wonders like Half Baked and Phish Food.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Pumpkin Faces!

Guys! Guys! It's fall! How do I know? Because of these:

Pumpkin Faces!


Thursday, August 21, 2014

I did the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge!

Yesterday my roommate and my little brother decided to tag me for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. They are big meanies, but here's the videographic evidence that I completed the Ice Bucket Challenge.

I'm tagging my friend Mosby (TheFantasticIan), Devon Battilega (DevonDoesGames), and my mother (spiffy URL nonexistent).

If you'd like to get in on the cold, wet fun, consider yourself tagged! To take the challenge, film yourself (or a friend) dumping a bucket of icy cold water over your head and film it for all the world to see. If that isn't quite your style, feel free to make a donation to the ALS Association to help them create a world without ALS.

P.S. I didn't know what ALS was so I looked it up. ALS stands for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease. It is a degenerative nerve disorder that affects approximately 30,000 Americans.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Chips and Buttermilk and Why I Will Be Homeless

My roommate thinks I'm crazy. And yeah, okay, maybe sometimes that's a little bit true. Maybe. Sometimes. A little. But I am not nearly as crazy as he thinks I am. In fact, I think he's crazy because he doesn't completely love one of my favorite foods.

Now, you guys now I love sour cream. And what's better than sour cream? Well....cheese. But no, that's not what we're talking about today. We're talking about sour cream and onion potato chips.

And what makes sour cream and onion potato chips even more delicious?

Friday, August 15, 2014

I Ate All the Skittles

All I wanted yesterday was doughnuts and a nap, so when I got home, I sent my roommate out for doughnuts and then I took a nap. That would have been the end of that, but while I was trying to decide what kind of doughnuts I wanted, I remembered the gas station also sold Skittles so I asked my roommate to please go buy me all the doughnuts and all the Skittles. Today we're going to be eating all the Skittles together, mostly because the doughnuts are all gone. (I'm not PMSing, I swear.)

Now, apparently the good ol' Skittles in the red bag aren't cool enough anymore, so we have three new kinds to try: Tropical Skittles, Sour Skittles, and Wild Berry Skittles.

Pile of Original Skittles, Sour Skittles, Tropical Skittles, and Wild Berry Skittles.

Let's start with a brief rant about green Skittles, shall we?

Monday, August 11, 2014

One Year Blogiversary!

Happy Blogiversary, guys! We're one!

Now, because I'm all nerdy and want to brag a little, here are some stats from the last year of blogging:

Number of Posts: 95

Number of Page Views: 3,235

Number of Brand Wars: 7
(Coke vs. Pepsi, Cheez-Its vs. Cheese Nips, Twizzlers vs. Red Vines, Blizzard vs. McFlurry, Sprite vs. Sierra Mist, Nutella, and Ketchup)

Number of Recipes: 26-ish

Number of Videos: One. This one.

Number of Times Written "Oreo": infinity

Most Popular Post: How to Make a Spongebob Oreo Birthday Cake in 19 Easy Steps

Least Popular Post: The Great Apple Crisp Bake Off

Personal Favorite Post: Starburst Minis, Bad Eggs, and a Love Story

Favorite Recipe: Triple Cheese Baked Ziti

Thank you so much for hanging out with me here and listening to me blabber on about Oreos and girly alcohol for the past year. You're the best!

What do you want to see next year?

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Almost Edible Earring Collection

Last Christmas I mentioned that food-shaped earrings make great gifts for people. And by people, I mean me. Call me crazy, but I just can't get enough of dangling fake food off my earlobes...

Okay, so these ones aren't exactly food, but they're some of my favorites. I bought these before I got my ears pierced and then had to wait three long months before I could wear them. Worth it!

These strawberry waffle earrings were made by Heather from Sweet & Savory Trinkets--my favorite food earring shop of all time. I don't think these waffles are still available, but if you ever see them, snatch them up!

Tacos! These ones were a Christmas gift, so I don't know where you can get them. If they're yours, please let me know! They just might be my favorite...

I can't say these earrings look a lot like my homemade peppermint bark, but they're so adorable, I just don't care. They were also from Heather.

Speaking of Heather and how awesome she is, she also made these pears.

And these gingerbread men.

These submarine sandwiches are fantastically detailed. They're a little heavier than the others so I don't wear them as often, but I love them! I think the creator has moved away from the mini food recently, but she still has some adorable coffee earrings.

Last but not least, these cans of Heineken were a 21st birthday gift from my sister. I don't like beer, but these are just awesome.

If you're looking for your own food earrings, a couple of my favorite Etsy sellers are Jody from Art Wonders (s'mores, anyone?) and Shay Aaron whose cupcakes are currently making me drool.

What are your favorite earrings?

Monday, August 4, 2014

Brand Wars: Nutella vs. Jif vs. Hershey

I generally avoid super-popular trendy things at all costs. Which is why I haven't read The Hunger Games. And why I didn't see Frozen until February. And also why I didn't jump on the whole belts-go-with-everything bandwagon a few years ago. I figure if everybody likes something, it's probably terrible. That just goes to show you how much faith I have in humanity.

Now, I know you're all going to hate me for this, but I figured since everybody was all about Nutella-this and Nutella-that, Nutella must suck. So, instead of going out and eating some Nutella and having a foodgasm like any normal person, I spent entirely too much money on jars of fake Nutella so I could prove to the universe that Nutella wasn't really that awesome.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Oatmeal Scotties

My roommate's friend has the balls to question the earth-shattering awesomeness of my oatmeal raisin cookies. This friend has requested (the nerve) a batch of Oatmeal Scotties for comparison.

Now, I'm half tempted to poison them, just because I can, but I'll be damned if I can't make the best freaking batch of Oatmeal Scotties to ever exist.

And where do you go when you're looking for the best ever Oatmeal Scotties recipe? Nestle. Duh.

Before I go telling you these things are phenomenally awesome, they're not. They're okay. They're really, really, really, really sugary. Like, really sugary. But if sugar coated sugar is your thing, maybe you'll like these.

At any rate, I'm fairly confident my good old oatmeal raisin cookies are going to thwart the opposition yet again, but just in case they don't, here's the recipe.

1 1/4 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups quick oats
1 1/2 cups traditional oats
11oz Nestle Butterscotch Morsels


1. Sift together flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon.

2. In a separate bowl, beat together butter and sugars.

3. Add eggs and vanilla to butter mixture.

4. Mix flour mixture into butter mixture.

5. Stir oats and butterscotch chips into dough.

6. Scoop dough out in tablespoonfuls. Bake at 375 for 10 minutes.

Makes, like, 50 absurdly sweet cookies.

P.S. Yes, I pronounce it "scotties" instead of "scotchies." Deal with it.

Monday, July 28, 2014

What I Ate: First Day of School Edition

Guys, today was my first day of school. Ever.

This week I'm taking a four-day Student Development seminar, which ordinarily would have been a mandatory one-credit sixteen-week course but is now a four-day week of educational craziness.

I now know what the Cornell Method is, if anyone was wondering.

Since I didn't have a lot of time for cookie baking this weekend, what with cram-reading the whole textbook and all, today I'm going to show you what I ate.

For breakfast I had a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Because, yaknow, cinnamon. And sugar. And crunch.

For lunch I ate most of a fake turkey sandwich and some Garden Salsa Sun Chips, which, if you have not yet experienced, needs to become your number one priority. The Sun Chips. Not the fake turkey. The fake turkey sucks. The Sun Chips are delicious.

My roommate bought me pizza for dinner, mostly because he just really wanted pizza, but who am I to say no to cheese-drenched carbs? Nobody, that's who. Besides. I hear college kids are supposed to eat a lot of pizza, and I'm just trying to fit in.

Right now I am sipping on a celebratory root beer float because on my first day of school I did not get an embarrassing nickname (unlike Willi-with-an-I), nobody tried to give me a wedgie, and I did not hide under the stairs and have a panic attack, which, as far as I'm concerned, means today was a successful first day of school.

Wish me luck tomorrow!

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Limeade Oreo Review and Rants About Leprechauns

Guys, you know I love Oreos. I've talked about them a time or two on this here blog. I follow the Fat Guys mostly because they love Oreos, and I follow Greg Miller exclusively because he loves Oreos.

These are not Oreos.

I don't know what the fuck they are, but they are not Oreos.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Oreo Cream Pie



And also, pie:

But not just any pie. No, this is Oreo Cream Pie, the greatest of all the pies. Well, okay, maybe not the greatest of all the pies. Maybe, like, the second greatest, because, yaknow, apple. And maybe pumpkin. Because Thanksgiving wouldn't exist without pumpkin pie. So let's say the third greatest of all the pies.

Don't let it's third-place status fool you, though. This pie is delicious. I've been looking forward to it all week. My coworkers were all like, "So, Katie, what are you doing with your Saturday off?" And I was all, "Sitting on my couch. Eating pie." And my coworkers were all, "Who are you, Homer Simpson?" And I was all, "Shut up or I won't share my pie."

And then they shut up. Because nobody messes with this pie.

(Actually, no, not really. They did call me Homer Simpson, but I didn't offer to share my pie. They're not pieworthy. Very few people are pieworthy.)

So how do you make this glorious circle of pieness, you ask? I'll tell you how. You get your ingredients.

And then you squish some of your ingredients.

And then you put your other ingredients in a bowl and squish them together.

And then you add the squishy ingredient into the other squished ingredients.

And then you pour it into an Oreo pie shell and sprinkle leftover squishedness on top.

Then you stick the whole shibang in the freezer for, like, some hours....or however long you can stand to wait before pulling it out and devouring it, which may be considerably less than some hours.

And then you eat it. Potentially all by yourself. Because Oreo Cream Pie is awesome.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, here are the actual directions....

Approximately 10-ish Oreos
3oz cream cheese
2 tbs sugar
1/2 cup Half-and-Half
8oz Cool Whip
1 Oreo cookie pie shell

What You Do:

1. Whirl maybe, like, sevenish of your Oreos around in a food processor until they're nice and crumbly. You're looking for one full cup of Oreos, so you may have to add or take away (read: eat) based on how accurate my Oreo counting skills are.

2. Squish up your three ounces of cream cheese with the sugar. Do not accidentally use a full 8oz package. That would be bad.

3. Pour the Half-and-Half into the cream cheese and mix.

4. Stir in the Cool Whip.

5. Stir in the Oreo crumbs.

7. Pour into the pie shell.

8. Top with chopped up Oreos. Not crushed Oreos. I may have gotten ahead of myself and crushed up too many Oreos, which I then threw on top of the pie because I figured, hey, they're Oreos, they'll be delicious no matter what. I did not take into consideration the fact that crushed up Oreos kind of look like crap. For a minute or two I considered going back to the store and buying more stuff to make another Oreo pie, but I'm pretty sure the people at the grocery store are about ready to start calling me the Crazy Oreo Chick, so I decided to hold my horses and stick with the crappy-looking pie.

9. Throw the whole thing in the freezer, preferably overnight, preferably right next to some Oreo Klondike bars that aren't nearly as good as Oreo Cream Pie. Remove from freezer approximately 15ish minutes before cutting.

Be sure to share this pie only with pieworthy people. Like me.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Loaded Doritos from 7-Eleven. Because.

I think I have officially experienced the most American thing to exist, ever.

Loaded Doritos from 7-Eleven.

Box of Loaded Doritos

I need you to fully understand this phenomenon.

It comes from the gas station, which we all know is the best place to buy quality food here in 'Merica.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Chipotle Loves Vegetarians: Sofritas Burrito Bowl Review

Dudes, this bag makes me happy.

Chipotle Bag with George Saunders quote about free food

Not just because it's always a good read, but also because it also holds the secrets of the universe and salsa.

Well, okay, maybe not the secrets of the universe, but definitely salsa. Always salsa. Don't even try to go to Chipotle and not get salsa, because that is not okay. (Unless you're going to Chipotle to get guacamole, in which case it's probably okay. I wouldn't know because avocados kind of freak me out a little bit.)

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Embrace Your Inner Redneck with Budweiser's Beergaritas

All across America there are small communities that gladly welcome toilet bowl flower pots, soda bottle bird feeders, and soup can windchimes. They pass their time watching Nascar and yelling at their cousin-brothers to skooch the house back onto the cinderblocks before the next twister comes through. These communities are called trailer parks, and stretching out across the nation you'll find them happily populated by women whose beauty routine consists of throwing some rollers in their hair and lighting a cigarette, men whose Tweetie Bird tattoos span across their enormous hairy bellies, and kids everywhere chasing down squirrels to eat for dinner.

Luckily, Budweiser has given us suburbians and city folk the opportunity to become Trailer Trash too, thanks to their new Beergaritas. Go ahead, take off your bra, black out a tooth, and pop open one of these refreshing redneck beverages.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Fire Roasted Corn and Sloppy Joe Potato Chips

The other day I was wandering through my backyard corn field, surveying the hail damage, when I caught glimpse of a sliver of foil gleaming in the sun. Stepping closer, I scratched my head. It couldn't be. But there it was. Nestled among the stalks, a bag of Fire Roasted Sweet Corn chips had sprouted.

Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips in a Corn Field

I plucked the bag from its place in the garden and battled my way past the pumpkin plants to take it inside. Still as unbelievable as could be, the bag sat seductively on the kitchen counter.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Brand Wars: Sprite vs. Sierra Mist vs. 7UP

In case you don't remember, last year we pitted Pepsi against Coke in the very first Brand War of all time. Pepsi won. Coca-Cola has since called for a rematch and today we will be blindly testing Sprite, Sierra Mist, and 7UP to see which refreshing citrus beverage takes home the gold.

Instead of hemming and hawing (which, by the way, is a term now in my vocabulary, thanks to my new job in West Virginia) I'm just going to jump right in.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Giant Bakery Style Chocolate Chip Cookies

If you don't follow me on Twitter then you are an incredibly lame individual and we can't be friends. Also, if you don't follow me on Twitter you probably don't know I got a new day job. A new day job 45 minutes away from home that required me to work an 11-hour shift on Sunday.

Since you have none of that information, you will probably not understand why I woke up this morning all, "oh, crap, it's Monday, I gotta blog!" Please, don't be offended. I love to blog. Blogging is great, but sometimes unprepared people like me approach things a little, well....unprepared. Which is why I decided at, oh, I don't know, like, 10am this morning that I would bake you my world famous secret recipe chocolate chip cookies.

That plan worked out great until I opened the fridge and remembered I ate all my chocolate chips. In a speedy Plan B, I pulled out the crappy semi-sweet chocolate chips and decided to make mammothly monster-sized cookies instead.

Ta da!

Okay, so they're not as mammothly monster-sized as they could have been, but they're still pretty darn big. Consider yourself warned. I cannot be held responsible if you fall into a diabetic coma halfway through one of these cookies. I also cannot be held responsible for any damage incurred from you bouncing off the walls during your sugar high.

What You Need:
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup melted butter
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tbs vanilla
1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips

 What You Do:
1. Sift together your flour and baking soda and salt. Set it aside.

2. In a big bowl, beat together the melted butter, brown sugar, and white sugar. It might look a little funny. That's okay.

3. Mix in the vanilla and eggs.

4. Mix the flour and stuff into the butter and stuff.

5. Stir in the chocolate chips.

6. Scoop the dough out into slightly-bigger-than-a-ping-pong-ball-sized lumps and drop them onto a cookie sheet covered in parchment paper. (By the way, has anybody else noticed that ping pong balls can now be purchased in the booze aisle at the grocery store? Also, has anybody else ever thought about how hilarious the term "ping pong" is? It's hilarious. You should think about it more.)

7. Bake at 325 for 15-17 minutes, depending on how gooey you like your cookies.

8. Take them out and let them cool on the cookie sheet for a minute or two until they're mostly solid and then move them to a cooling rack.

Despite the fact that these pictures are awesome (duh), I feel the need to explain to you that these cookies, while not as awesome as my world famous secret recipe cookies (which, spoiler alert, are almost exactly like these ones),  are incredibly incredible. They are the cookie equivalent of a Kraft Singles grilled cheese sandwich--go ahead, rip it in half and watch the chocolate ooze out. You know you want to.

View the original recipe here.