Wednesday, March 25, 2026

Vegan on a Budget: How Much Does Protein Cost?

Last year, I captured my first month of shopping and eating on food stamps. At the time, I was experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety about grocery shopping, and those feelings resurfaced a few months ago when most of us lost access to our food stamps during the government shutdown -- yay fascism. These days, though, I feel like a SNAP shopping pro.

Whether you're shopping with food stamps or just feeling the squeeze on your grocery budget, I hope this information will help you feel empowered in the choices you're making to feed your face in these trying times.

 

In this post, I'm comparing prices from three grocery stores: Aldi, Walmart, and Kroger. I don't live near a Kroger, but the Internet assures me that lots of other people leave near Krogers, so I'm throwing them into the mix anyway. In most cases, brands vary, but I made my best effort to ensure products were as comparable as possible. This post reflects the regular sticker price (no sales or coupons) available to me in Virginia in March 2026. Your mileage may vary; I wish you the best.

Let's start with beans, since we already know they're the queen of cheap eats. Black beans, dry, in a bag, only cost 1.4 cents per gram of protein. If you, like me, can't be bothered to deal with dry beans, don't fret. Canned beans cost less than a nickle per gram of protein -- 4.7 cents for fancy-pants organic lentils, to be exact.

 

I know a can of beans doesn't look like food most of the time. And that's because it's not; it's an ingredient. You deserve food that tastes good, no matter how broke you are, and beans by themselves do not taste good. It's not you, it's them. Try a zingy black bean dip or chickpea salad.

You know what does look like food? Mac and cheese. That's why my favorite way to get protein is with pasta. Stay with me now. The Barilla Protein+ pasta has 10g of protein per 2oz serving. That's more protein per serving than garbanzo beans. You're welcome.

Even if you don't spring for the Barilla Protein+ or something like a Banza pasta alternative, normal, cheap-as-dirt, whole wheat pasta is still a solid source of protein and it's at a price point similar to beans.

You know what goes good with pasta? Peanut sauce. Toss in some veggies and you have a meal that looks healthy and responsible but tastes like takeout. And for only two cents per gram of protein, peanut butter is one of the most cost effective and tasty ways to fill out your diet.

Keep in mind that nuts and nut butters can have wildly different prices when sourced at different stores and in different quantities. If the price you see feels too high, look elsewhere or wait for a sale.

Speaking of things that feel expensive, let's talk about meat replacements. I assumed that anything with a brand name on it was going to be unattainable when money got tight. After crunching the numbers, though, I found that keeping a stash of frozen "meats" on hand was well worth it for me. 

The Morning Star Grillers Crumbles have been my go-to for many years now, and I was thrilled to realize they were a pretty cheap staple, at less than $1 per serving. The other vegan meats I checked were a bit more expensive, but still reasonable, especially if you catch them on sale or stretch them out with other protein-packed ingredients.

I would be remiss if I spent a whole post talking about vegan protein and left out tofu.

Tofu is not my favorite ingredient, nor is it the cheapest way to get your protein, but it is extremely versatile and worth having in your culinary arsenal. Nora Cooks has a good marinade with Asian vibes and It Doesn't Taste Like Chicken has a solid taco filling recipe. You can even hide tofu in junk food, like French Onion Dip.

Before we go, let's do a quick-fire roundup of what we learned. The cheapest protein-per-penny is dry black beans at 69g per $1. The most expensive protein is Impossible Beef at 6g per $1. Peanut butter has the lowest cost per serving, at 9 servings per $1 (if you don't eat peanuts, remember that almond butter is significantly cheaper at Aldi). And last but not least: Pasta is your secret weapon for affordable protein.

If you're experiencing any kind of food insecurity, please lean on community resources. Feeding America makes free food available across the country. If you qualify for SNAP, reach out to your local social services office to sign up. You can also join the wait list for Full Cart grocery deliveries if you see your situation persisting long-term. 

Do you have any other protein-packed budget tips? Share them in the comments! 

Saturday, July 5, 2025

Utz Lemonade Potato Chip Review

You know the old saying: When life gives you lemons, make potato chips.

Life sure has given me a lot of lemons lately, so imagine my surprise when I saw these Utz lemonade-flavored potato chips. Initially, I thought I must have misread the bag. But as I careened toward the cardboard chip stand, my vision was validated. These are indeed lemonade potato chips.

What a time to be alive.

These limited edition chips are made in partnership with Alex's Lemonade Stand, a non-profit that funds children's cancer research and provides support to families facing a kid's cancer fight. I was especially touched to discover that Alex's Lemonade Stand has specific programs to support siblings of patients. For every bag of lemonade chips sold, Utz will donate $0.09, with a target of $25,000. (That's 278,000 bags, btw.)

Before I opened the bag, I had some thoughts about these chips. First thought was "wtf? Beverage flavored snacks?" Second thought was "I like lemonade with salty things." Then the third thought came from the deep recesses of my brain. When I was just a wee foodie, I tried to make homemade potato chips. I decided against using Mrs Dash Garlic & Herb seasoning on them and opted instead for the only other flavored dust at my disposal: lime Kool-Aid powder.

You guys, they weren't actually that bad.

Don't get me wrong, they were fully terrible -- soggy, chewy, unsalted -- but I couldn't stop eating them. Sometimes a girl just needs a citric acid fix, yaknow?

Needless to say, I had mixed feelings about tasting these chips. I still have mixed feelings about these chips.

 
They are a perfectly passable potato chip -- thin, crispy, salty, potato-y. But then they get weird. Instead of the lemonade flavor leaning into a sour/tangy/pucker-worthy lemon, it leans sweet. But not sweet enough to stop being a salty snack.

It's kinda like if someone ate an amazing piece of lemon cake with a thick glaze, then handed you the leftover paper plate to eat your potato chips off of.

My conclusion: Do not put your money where your mouth is. If you want to support cancer research, donate $5 to St Jude. If you also want to eat weird potato chips, get some Kool-Aid packets and become a mad scientist. But unless your curiosity is otherwise insatiable, skip the chip this time around. 

Sunday, March 30, 2025

Week 4 of Eating Vegan on Food Stamps

New week, new meal plan! We're trying a different format this week, but fear not, this is still a continuation of our adventures with food stamps.

This week, I wanted to use up some of the things lingering in my fridge -- including some expired tempeh and tofu. 

Here's the menu I came up with. You'll be happy to know I mostly stuck to it, with the exception of accidentally making potatoes on Tuesday and ziti on Wednesday. Don't worry, I survived.


Now, on to the grocery haul!


 

At Aldi, I got two bags of cranberry almond granola ($2.49 each) and a 12-pack of blackberry seltzer ($3.99) for a total of $8.97.

At Walmart, I got:

Rigatoni - $0.98
Spaghetti Sauce - $1.67 each
Spinach - $1.98
Chickpeas - $0.86 each
Pretzels - $2.34
Potato Chips - $1.98
Hamburger Buns - $1.46
Soy Sauce - $1.58
Taco Sauce - $1.98
Cheddar Cheese - $3.97
French Fries - $2.98
Green Beans - $1.97
Tomatoes - $1.48
Red Bell Pepper - $1.48
Sauerkraut - $2.42

My total at Walmart was $31.39, bringing my weekly total to $40.36.

A word on potatoes: I could have bought my own potatoes and made my own fries, and chips, and baked potatoes, but my roommate was sharing some of my meals with me, so he contributed potatoes (and bought me takeout on Thursday).

After grocery shopping, I made pizza for dinner using a pre-made crust that had been hanging around. I topped it with some frozen bell pepper and onions.


For vegan BLTs, I marinated a batch of tempeh using a recipe I found online ten zillion years ago. I thought it was from PETA, but three seconds of Googling didn't help me find it, so I'll copy it for you here:

Stir together 1/4 cup olive oil, 1/4 cup maple syrup, 1/2 tsp smoky paprika, 1/2 tsp cayenne, 1/2 tsp black pepper, and salt to taste. Slice the tempeh and marinate until ready to cook. Pan fry until crispy.


My favorite part of this week's meal plan was the tofu-based onion dip that I failed to photograph. But you know what dip looks like. Use your imagination. 

Onion dip is the basis of Lauren Toyota's loaded baked potato recipe in this cookbook. You add onion dip and cheddar cheese to the innards of your baked potatoes, restuff them, and broil them to perfection. I promise, they taste much, much better than mine look. Plus, you end up with half the batch of dip left over for general munching.


I also failed to photograph my baked ziti, but you remember that from last time

On Thursday, I had Chipotle. My standard order: Burrito bowl with sofritas, brown rice, black beans, fajita veggies, mild salsa, salsa verde, and chips on the side. 

On Friday, I made the peanut pasta recipe from Vegan Comfort Classics. I make mine with green beans instead of snow peas because they're almost always in my freezer already.


On Saturday, I had sloppy joes with Morning Star crumbles and some Banza pasta with frozen nacho cheese sauce.


Spoiler alert: Next week is going to be a weird one, so be sure to come back soon!

Sunday, March 23, 2025

What I Ate on Food Stamps: Week 3

If you missed this week's grocery haul, be sure to click here and see what we were working with.

Before we get into what I ate, I'd like to take a moment to rant about bread. 

I love bread as much as the next guy -- probably more, if we're being honest -- but seeing as how I am only one person, when I buy a loaf of bread, I have to plan my entire week around that loaf of bread. One person eating 20 units of the exact same thing in seven days is no easy feat. Think about it. Eggs are sold in increments of six because a reasonable human being could eat one thing six times in seven days (especially if two or three of them were hidden in, say, brownies). Plenty of perishables are sold in sixes (beer), eights (burger buns), tens (sliced cheese), even dozens (doughnuts). But only sliced bread is like "Oh, you'd like some toast? How about nineteen more?" It's ridiculous. In fact, I'd like to propose a friend-finder or dating app that syncs with your grocery list to minimize food waste. Imagine it! You could get a phone notification that's like "Sam is also buying paprika. Would you like to meet?" It's the future, people! You saw it here first.

Anywho.

Here's what my bread-having butt ate this week.

Friday, March 21, 2025

Shopping with Food Stamps: Week 3

Virginia is finally ready for spring! Don't say it too loud -- you might scare it away. But I am happy to report that we have emerged from the frigid temperatures and knock-you-on-your-ass winds and are starting to see the first signs of spring.

I even slept with my windows open. 

Something about the fresh air put me in the mood for bright flavors and aromatic herbs. I didn't realize until I got home that half the stuff I bought was green.

Here's my haul:


Wednesday, March 19, 2025

What I Ate on Food Stamps: Week 2

I'm not going to lie, this week was HARD. Not specifically food-wise, but life-wise. Between me, my roommate, and the dog, we had eight doctor's appointments. EIGHT! Six of those were mine. We're not going to talk about it.

Given the chaos and general sense of overwhelm, this week's meals were simple, repetitive, and heavy on mock-meats. You'll remember I recently found a sale on Morning Star Farms frozen proteins, plus I grabbed a bag of vegan meatballs at Aldi this week. 

 

Breakfasts

I had one bagel left from last week, so I ate that with peanut butter on Sunday. Then I switched to chocolate protein granola with soy milk. Some mornings I had coffee, some mornings I didn't bother. I definitely didn't bother to take pictures. Sorry about that.

 

Lunches

My lunches this week consisted of leftovers and "burgers" made with Morning Star chicken patties, Daiya cheese slices, and various condiments. You can't beat a meal that's ready to eat in two minutes or less.



  

Sunday

 

My friend treated me to Chinese food on Sunday since we had to reschedule our plans from the week before. I ordered broccoli in hot garlic sauce from one of the few restaurants in town that doesn't cook its rice in chicken broth. They also updated their menu, so I'm excited to see if they have more vegan options next time I go.

 

Monday

 

On Monday, I made spaghetti and meatballs and traded my roommate some of my pasta sauce for cabbage and kale salad. Super photogenic meal, right? I promise it tasted better than it looks.

 

Tuesday

 

I got caught in traffic on my way back from the doctor on Tuesday, so I zapped a chicken patty in the microwave and ate it with some leftover salad and tater tots.

 

Wednesday

 

Wednesday was my one "day off" this week, so I made homemade bread and zucchini garlic pasta. I also had a pack of Lightlife bacon in the fridge that was about to go bad, so I added the whole thing. In hindsight, half the package would have been plenty, but more bacon never hurt nobody. 


Thursday & Friday

 

Thursday was taco night and I ate the leftovers on Friday. Sometimes I splurge on the hard-and-soft taco kits because it lets me have variety without having to eat an entire 12-pack on my own. In the past, I've also set aside the bag of soft shells and used them for quesadillas another week. Single person life hacks!

 

Saturday 

At the culmination of this crazy week, I kept things easy and made more spaghetti and burger bun garlic bread -- slightly prettier this time.


 

I hope you're enjoy this vegan adventure through food stamps. Stick around to see what I eat next week! (Spoilers: It involves fresh herbs.)

Monday, March 17, 2025

Shopping With Food Stamps: Week 2

I knew this week was going to be hectic as hell, so before the chaos kicked in, I went to three different stores to procure provisions.

Aldi


I'll be honest, the primary reason I went to Aldi was to get vegan granola. It's a challenge to find granola without honey, but Aldi's Millville brand protein granola has two vegan flavors: Oat & Dark Chocolate and Cranberry Almond. I went for chocolate this week ($2.65).

While I was at Aldi, I also grabbed burger buns ($1.45), marinara sauce ($1.65), and frozen vegan meatballs ($5.15). 

I usually buy coffee at Aldi as well, because they have the most affordable fair trade beans I can find locally, but I knew there was a Trader Joes trip in my future, so I held off.

My total at Aldi was $13.55.

 

"Regular" Grocery Store

 

You've heard me lament about the prices at the grocery store near my house. Last week, they actually had some good sales. This week, not so much. Their ad was bragging about cabbage for $0.12/pound... but only if you spent $25. So I skipped the cabbage. Instead, I bought Daiya cheese slices (on sale for $3.99) and stocked up on Barilla Protein Pasta, which is usually $2.99 at this store or $2.52 at Walmart, but with the sale and a coupon, I snagged four boxes for $1.88 each.

My total at the grocery store was $11.49.

 

Walmart

Once again, I did the bulk of my shopping at Walmart. Your girl likes to eat, and your girl is living on a dime, so Walmart is our bread and butter.


At Walmart, I got:

Butter Sticks - $3.98

Tater Tots - $2.97

Hard & Soft Taco Kit - $2.98 after coupon

Tortilla Boat Taco Kit - $3.18 after coupon

Black Beans - $0.86

Canned Potatoes - $0.96

Canned Carrots - $0.67

Ketchup - $1.92

Zucchini - $1.37

My total at Walmart was $18.89 


Before my Trader Joes adventure, my weekly total was $43.93.

 

Trader Joe's

I had to go out of town for a doctor's appointment this week, so I rewarded myself with a stop at Trader Joe's. 

It's incredibly easy for me to get carried away at "fun" grocery stores like Trader Joe's and Wegmans, but given my budgetary constraints, I made my best effort to be practical this go-round. At Trader Joes, I snagged a big tin of coffee ($17), two bags of nutritional yeast ($3.50 each), some shallots, and two bags of rice cracker mix. 

I lost my receipt, but my total was $36.10. 

 

My weekly EBT spend came to $80.03.

Stay tuned to see what I ate with these groceries!

Sunday, March 16, 2025

What I Ate on Food Stamps: Week 1

If you've been keeping up with my posts lately, you'll know that I recently began receiving food stamps. I am documenting my grocery hauls and meal plans here, partly to keep notes for myself and partly to inspire anyone else who might be eating vegan on a budget.

Friendly reminder: If you need a helping hand, please reach out to the resources in your community. Social services offices and food pantries welcome everyone -- including you. Nobody should have to struggle alone.

Let's get into my meals!

Day One

  • Coffee and a bagel with cream cheese
  • Pasta and wilty cabbage left over from last week, and some grapes
  • Vegan Orzo Verde
 
 

Monday, March 3, 2025

Shopping with Food Stamps: Week 1

Welcome to my first full week shopping with food stamps!

This week, I really splashed out and went to the "regular" (read: expensive) grocery store to take advantage of some sales and coupons. I bought:

  • Tofutti cream cheese - $4.59
  • Two pints of non-dairy Ben & Jerry's - $4.00 each
  • Morning Star chicken strips - $4.00
  • Morning Star hot dogs - $4.00
  • Morning Star crumbles for tacos - $4.00
  • Red grapes - $1.19
  • 3-pack of razors  - $3.99
  • Four 12-packs of seltzer water (not pictured) - $3.40 each

My pre-promo total was $72.18, which is absolutely ridiculous. Had I purchased the exact same stuff from Walmart (with the exception of the cream cheese being Violife brand instead of Tofutti), my total would have been $53. That's a 26% markup! 

Worry not -- I'm too savvy (and too broke) to pay full price at the fancy-pants grocery store. After all the promos, my total was $30.65. All but $0.30 of that was covered by my EBT account -- I just had to pay tax on the razors. 

After that, I went to Walmart to buy the rest of the items on my list:

  •  Everything bagels - $3.88
  • Taco Shells - $1.54
  • Rigatoni - $0.98
  • Pasta sauce - $1.67
  • Two cans of chickpeas - $0.86 each
  • Two cans of black beans - $0.86 each
  • One jar of salsa - $2.64
  • Green enchilada sauce - $1.00
  • Plain coconut yogurt - $5.30
  • Frozen spinach - $1.26
  • Cilantro  - $0.83

My total at Walmart was $22.54, making my final grocery cost for the week $53.19, which is about $8 below the current national average for a frugal gal my age.

(I'm not making this up, it's on the USDA website: https://www.fns.usda.gov/research/cnpp/usda-food-plans/cost-food-monthly-reports)

 Stay tuned to see what I eat this week!

To see my first attempt at shopping with food stamps, click here.

Sunday, March 2, 2025

Eating Vegan on Food Stamps: Week 0

 Do you ever feel like life has run you over like a dump truck? Me too. But right now, I feel like life dumped me out the back of a dump truck, covered me in manure, and left me there to climb my way out.

Thankfully, I've had wonderful support from my friends and family, and my care team is working together to find the best way to keep me healthy and happy in the long run.

I am also incredibly grateful for the resources available at my local Social Services office and the kind people there.

I was recently approved for food stamps, or "EBT" as the cool kids are calling it. Given that this program is new to me and my kitchen, I thought I would share my experience with you.

I'm calling this week "Week Zero" because I relied heavily on pantry staples, leftovers, and prior purchases for my meals this week, only supplementing with a handful of fresh groceries.

 

What I Bought

 

Sunday, February 23, 2025

Half Assed Apple Crisp

I'm trying to be a more responsible person and use up my produce before it turns to slime in the bottom of my fridge.

 

It's harder than it sounds.

 

Sunday, February 9, 2025

Vegan Orzo Verde Recipe

One of my favorite dishes is Damn Delicious' Slow Cooker Enchilada Orzo. I've made it many, many times over the years. Originally, I made it exactly as written, Crock Pot and all. 

As time went by, my roommate's biological feud with tomatoes threatened to remove this beloved meal from my repertoire. I wasn't willing to let it go without a fight. Thus, the recipe morphed into a tomato-free, all vegan, stovetop version that let me keep my roommate and my menu.

If you're looking for a pasta dish without tomatoes, I hope you give this one a try. It's crowd-pleasing. It's easy to throw together. And yes, it is damn delicious.

 


Vegan Orzo Verde (adapted from Damn Delicious)

Ingredients:

  • 1 jar salsa verde (about 16oz)
  • 1 can green enchilada sauce
  • 1 can chopped green chiles (can be omitted if your salsa is on the spicy side)
  • 1 cup veggie broth (I use Better than Bouillon concentrate) 
  • 1 can black beans
  • 2 cups orzo pasta (I'm sure you could use another small pasta shape, such as stars or ditalini, but I'm hooked on the texture of orzo "grains")
  • 4oz vegan cream cheese (Tofutti and Violife both work great)
  • 1 cup frozen corn
  • Cilantro to taste
Instructions:
  • In a soup pot, combine the salsa, enchilada sauce, chiles (if using), veggie broth, and black beans. Cover and bring to a boil.
  • To the boiling pot, add orzo and cook just shy of desired tenderness.
  • Stir in cream cheese and frozen corn until the cream cheese is fully melted and the corn is warm.
  • Add cilantro to your heart's content and serve as big ol' bowls of cozy.
 Bonus points if you have Lauren Toyota's Nacho Cheese and some chips on the side.

Saturday, April 6, 2024

New Kitchen, New Video, New Pump!

 A few months ago, I moved into my very first very-own kitchen, meaning that for the first time in my life, my kitchen is entirely my own and I don't have to share it with anyone else.


Somehow that also means I'm supposed to be in charge of all of the dishes and sweeping and cleaning, which doesn't seem entirely reasonable since I'm only one person and the universe should only expect so much. But so far so good, and I'm thoroughly enjoying customizing the space to work for me.


In this ongoing quest to create the best kitchen in the universe, I frequently find myself in Home Goods and TJ Maxx and the clearance aisles of Big Lots attempting to buy All The Things.


One of the things I've bought is a refillable, hand-pressurized, stainless steel oil spritzer. It is my newest kitchen gadget and one unlike anything I've experienced before, so I wanted to bring you along to see my first impressions firsthand.


Any advice on the ideal pumping schedule for this apparatus is appreciated.




Saturday, June 17, 2023

Am I Old?

 I have a regrettable confession to share with you, loyal readers....


I don't think I've purchased Oreos in years.


Years! Can you believe this? It's like I'm a whole different person. In what universe do I not have Oreos? In what universe do I let Oreos unleash new flavors and I just walk past?


It disappoints me to say it..... but I may have grown up.


Which is bullshit, because grownups have to pay bills and pretend like they know what they're doing, and I'm going to be really bad at that, y'all! I can barely pretend I'm human. Now you expect me to be an ADULT? I didn't sign up for this shit.

 

But if I have to be an adult, at least I'll be an adult who knows how to make an air fryer pizza in 10 minutes or less. Boo yah!

Monday, July 11, 2022

Vegan Pizza & Beer in Winchester, VA

 Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to spend a night on the town in Winchester, Virginia, and y'all, we need to talk about Pizzoco.





Perfect golden crust.

 

Gooey vegan cheese.

 

An expertly seasoned, slightly sweet sauce that is made in-house every day.

 

Choose from toppings galore to create your own masterpiece, or easily veganize several of their signature pies.

 


It doesn't get better than Pizzoco.

 

On this visit, we opted for the Tomato Pie to embrace the stunning simplicity of an artisanal pizza. Vegan cheese goes down first, then the sauce spirals across the top. Garlic, olive oil, and oregano finish out the flavor.


We ate the whole damn thing in one sitting. No regrets.


On my next visit, I'm eager to try a veganized version of the "Winchester": sweet peppers, basil, and onion with classic red sauce and vegan cheese. 


Speaking of Winchester, Pizzoco is in the town's historic district. Taking a stroll through the neighborhood will treat you to a brick-laid walking mall lined with restaurants and local shops. At the end of the walking mall, you'll find George Washington's office from his pre-war surveyor days. Glamorous, it is not, but it puts history in perspective when you acknowledge the great accomplishments of the man in light of his meager surroundings.


Pizzoco gives nod to another local treasure on its very walls:


See the green turret rising over the hill on the left? It isn't a whimsical invention from an artist's imagination, but rather the city's historic Handley Library.

 


The green roof is iconic in Winchester today, but when the building was constructed over 100 years ago, it gleamed in bright copper. Over time, the copper aged and its patina became a stately landmark overlooking the town. It still functions as a public library today, and its history and charm are just as magical as to stories it holds.


In addition to our stroll through time, we were able to visit Winchester Brew Works, a woman-owned, family-friendly brewery in downtown Winchester.


This is possibly my favorite beer experience of all time.


We opted to share a flight. It's the height of summer here, so three of our choices were light and fruity: the #glamping Pink Lemonade Shandy, the juicy Northside Light Lime, and the gentle 2200 Mile NEIPA (inspired by the Appalachian Trail). 

 

Our fourth choice was the velvety, decadent Bourbon Barrel Bear Tracks. This is a reprise of their fan-favorite peanut butter porter. In this version, Bear Tracks has been aged in bourbon barrels, resulting in a rich brew with notes of cocoa and vanilla. My recommendation: Don't buy the full pour of this. Order a mini and savor each sip without overwhelming your palate.


All in all, Winchester isn't the most vegan-friendly place I've been, but if you know where to look, you can find some hidden gems. If you visit, I hope you'll share your finds with me!

Friday, August 27, 2021

Earth Based Cafe Restaurant Review

 Do you remember the veganniversary post where I teased this picture:


Of course you remember. Who could forget something so epic and delicious?

That burger, my dudes, is the glorious creation of Earth Based Cafe in Martinsburg, WV.

Now, as a native Virginian, I was under the impression that the only vegan food in West Virginia was beer. But whooo boy was I wrong.

As it turns out, all I had to do to satisfy my junk food vegan hopes and dreams was drive across the border.

Let me tell you the tale.

One night after work, we made the impromptu decision to have a date night. So we hopped in the car, drove 20 minutes north, picked up a ridiculous amount of takeout for only two people, and ate it on a blanket in the park, all romantic-like. (Well. Almost romantic-like. If you ignore the fact that we couldn't get into the park and ended up eating ten feet away from the car in a patch of grass between the parking lot and a ditch. And also if you ignore the fact that we almost got run over by this one kid on a bicycle about four times. If you just focus on the food and the blanket, it was very romantic-like.)

 


We ordered two entrees, two apps, and two sides.

For the appetizers, which were gargantuan enough to be entrees in their own right, we chose garlic knots and cheesy spinach dip.

 

The garlic knots? Heavily. The marinara sauce? Perfection. The spinach dip? Cheesy as all heck. The tortilla chips? Warm and crispy, as the gods intended them.


Then, my friends, there were the entrees.

Are you prepared for this? Because I was definitely not prepared for this.

I ordered a nacho burger.


Just in case you haven't had the pleasure of feasting on a grilled Beyond Burger topped with two kinds of cheese, jalapenos, onions, chipotle sauce, and tortilla chips, I'm here to assure you it is spectacular. I would eat this every day of my life and die happy.

My dinnermate ordered a Philly cheesesteak.

 

This cheesesteak was loaded. We're talking holy cow thick. Acres of seitan spilling out of a warm bun, dotted with zippy green peppers and swirled with ooey gooey cheese. Delectable.

The sides we tried were macaroni salad (classic) and sriracha baked beans (exotic). 

 

Both were lovely accompaniments to an outstanding meal.

But that burger, y'all. I need you to understand how much I love that burger.

This is happy dance food.

I cannot recommend Earth Grown Cafe enough. Go there, eat the food, bring me some on your way home. Rinse and repeat.

Monday, August 23, 2021

BRAND WARS: Vegan Mac & Cheese

Have you ever spent a Saturday afternoon wondering what to do with yourself?

The answer is make four boxes of mac and cheese.


For science.

I can say this with authority, because that's exactly what my brother and I did this past Saturday.

Which means....ladies and gentlemen!

It's time for another BRAND WARS!!!!

Saturday, August 7, 2021

Veganniversary: Year 4!

My dudes, I have been vegan for four years as of yesterday.

This boggles the mind. Where did four years go? What was I doing all that time? And furthermore, wtf happened to the world???

In addition to the chaos the entire universe unleashed in the past four years, my own life has been pretty darn hectic. Here are some highlights:

Saturday, May 9, 2020

Does Rice Paper Bacon Work?

You know those people who can describe food so pithily that their prose elegantly encapsulates the essence of the dish?

I can do that with rice paper bacon. Because as it turns out, you only need one word to describe the nuance of the recipe: