I Made Banana Muffins Against My Will

I don't like bananas.

I realize that this confession is coming right on the heels of my "I won't eat apples" admission, so I'm sure you think I'm on some kind of anti-fruit crusade, but I promise, it's not like that.

I just don't like bananas. They're too squishy and stringy and....peely. I don't dig it.

But my pandemic brain decided that it wanted to make banana nut muffins, and I had a bag of nuts (a nut sack, lol), so I ordered bananas from the grocery people.

Baked Apple Cinnamon Rolls

Everyone loves cinnamon rolls; it's a universal truth.

Cinnamon rolls are an excellent social distancing food because they're familiar and comforting, they take a long time to make (so they're boredom-busting), and they don't require any weird-ass ingredients that you'd have to leave your house to get. Understandably, I decided my pandemic experience would be incomplete without indulging in cinnamon rolls at least once. (It would be more than once, but now I'm out of butter.)

When I waddled upstairs to start baking this morning, I remembered I had some really really sad looking apples that I bought the first day of the shutdown because I thought it would be responsible to buy fruit to ward off scurvy. Turns out though, I don't eat apples. Even when I put them in a fruit bowl all pretty-like.

So I decided, right then and there, to invent Baked Apple Cinnamon Rolls to use those suckers up.

I Broke My Waffles

My inner fat kid is on the fritz.

You know how I know?

Because I made waffles.

These waffles.

Delicious waffles.

But like a complete, total, skinny dumbass...

The Best Vegan Oatmeal Raisin Cookies in the Universe

If you've been here for a hot second, you probably know that I love cookies. And cookie dough. And Oreos. But guys. All of that pales in comparison to my love for oatmeal raisin cookies.

I love oatmeal raisin cookies.

No, like really. I LOOOOOVE oatmeal raisin cookies. It's even in my bio.

One of my great moments of shame as a child was when my mother baked oatmeal raisin cookies for a meeting she had and I kept sneaking into the kitchen and stealing one and then another one and then another one and then I filled my teeny art kit suitcase with cookies and hid behind a chair and ate them all.

But you know what? I don't even think I regret it. Because oatmeal raisin cookies are the best.

Recipe Roundup: What I've Cooked in Quarantine

In case you hadn't noticed, there's a raging pandemic happening outside. Which means I'm inside. Making snacks.

Actually, that's not entirely true. I spent about a week and a half panicking, like a normal person. Now I'm making snacks.

Here's a roundup of what I've made so far, in case you need inspiration for your own isolation menu.

Lauren Toyota's Zucchini Cream Sauce

I never in a million years would have pureed a zucchini and called it food. Never ever. But damn this is delicious. When I did my big pre-isolation shop, I grabbed four zucchinis so I could make a double batch of this sauce and freeze it. Worked like a charm. I froze it without kala namak, cheese, or meaty bits; I add those to each dish individually when I assemble the meal. Highly recommend.

Upsides to the Apocalypse

I'm just gonna go ahead and say it.

This coronavirus thing sucks.

Up until yesterday, I'd been trucking along just fine. I went to work on a modified schedule. I ate lunches with my dog. I hung out with my friends. Everything was going great, aside from the looming anxiety that the whole world was on the brink of disaster.

Then my jobs went on lockdown and I realized that I am, for all intents and purposes, laid off. So now I'm home, and I'm staring at the walls, and it turns out I'm bored.

So here are my initial musings and self-comforting thoughts to try to get through the COVID-19 apocalypse.

1. My pants won't get dirty.

New Things and Seitan Sandwiches

I've been on a bit of a kick for trying new things lately. I say "bit of" because I am very firmly rooted in my comfort zone and I don't want any of you to try to poke me out of it. (Edible bribes are much more effective than poking anyway.) But I have been slowly, tentatively, introducing new things into my comfort zone.

First, I started watching a new TV show: Madam Secretary. Holy cow, is it good. It has a lot of West Wing vibes, which I appreciate, but it definitely has its own flavor.

Then, when I realized I was binge-watching to an extreme degree, I decided to do something productive while I watched TV (to negate the shame). I started knitting. I've been knitting off and on for at least 15 years...probably more. So it isn't the knitting itself that's new, it's the project. I have officially begun my first sweater. I am equal parts terrified and excited.

Which is why I needed snacks.

You can't be terrified and excited and not have snacks.

So I made my first loaf of seitan.

And then I made sandwiches.