Monday, January 27, 2014

How to Make a Spongebob Oreo Birthday Cake in 19 Easy Steps

Today I'm going to teach you how to make this cake:

We're making this cake because it's somebody's baby brother's NINTH birthday and somebody's baby brother likes Spongebob and Oreos. Somebody's baby brother has excellent taste. He gets that from somebody, you know.

Anywho. Here's what you have to do:

Step 1: Go to Walmart.

Step 2:
Procure 2 boxes of vanilla pudding, 3.5 cups of milk, two packages of golden Oreos, 8oz of cream cheese, 12oz of Cool Whip, 1/2 cup of powdered sugar, and one stick of butter (you'll just have to convince your fellow shoppers to chip in for the other three sticks). Do not take pictures of the powdered sugar or butter as this will ruin the whole cake.

Step 3:
Find cool looking Happy Birthday letters and cool looking candles and then go into the aquarium section and get a Spongebob figurine and Spongebob's pineapple house but don't tell anybody you got your cake toppings from the aquarium section because they'll probably think that's gross and then they won't eat the cake. On second thought, tell them and then keep all the cake for yourself.

Step 4:
Go home and make the Help crush the Oreos into oblivion.

Step 5:
While the Help is crushing the Oreos into oblivion, mix together your pudding mixes and the milk.

Step 6:
Spoon the Cool Whip onto the pudding.

Step 7:

Step 8:
Take a break. Eat some Cool Whip. Soften your butter. Eat more Cool Whip. There are leftovers for a reason.

Step 9:
Put your butter and cream cheese and sugar in a bowl.

Step 10:

Step 11:
Stir your pudding and Cool Whip mixture into your butter and cream cheese and sugar bowl.

Step 12:
Procure a 9x13 baking dish.
Little-known Fact: They call it a 9x13 because it measures 9 inches on the short side and 13 inches on the long side. Mind. Blown.

Step 13:
Spoon half of the goop into the dish and spread it out.

Step 14:
Sprinkle some of the crushed Oreos on top. Use more than this.

Step 15:
Spoon on the rest of the goop. Spread it out.

Step 16:
Cover the goop with the rest of the Oreos.

Step 17:
Use letters to write things. The cake can entertain itself reading these things while you refrigerate it.

Step 18:
In the morning decorate with aquarium ornaments and candles. Take a picture of birthday boy's knee.

Step 19:

And there you have it! A delicious Spongebob Oreo birthday cake in less than 20 steps! What are you waiting for????

(Also, did you see the Spongebob cup photobombing?)

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